Sleazy Salesman Came Knocking At My Door

So this Kayak pool salesman came to my house on Friday night.  He pulled up in a Beamer.  A BMW 328.  Nice car, right?  Expensive car, right?  He stepped into the house, then quickly said "I need to use your bathroom."  I thought it odd, it wasn't a request, but rather a statement.  I showed him where the bathroom was.  When he came out, formal introductions were made and his sales pitch began.  It annoys me that these salespeople have to come to my house.  The company should put their prices online or give them over the phone, then we wouldn't have to go through all this hoopla with booking a mandatory appointment.  Regardless; the guy was likable, seemed very nice and friendly.  Lots of smiles, compliments, you know, sales pitch stuff. 

What seemed odd was he talked like we had already ordered and paid for the pool.  He was just there to show us the amazing construction and design of this pool.  We came back inside after he showed us where to start digging outside for the pool, and we all sat down.  He asked for a pen to write some numbers down.  He's a salesman, isn't a pen a tool of the trade?  At the end of this long drawn out presentation, he told us we qualified for the in-home demo discount.  This promotion would offer us a great discount because no one in the area had this pool and the company could use our address to send people to my backyard to view the pool.  "Are you in agreement with this?" he asked us.  "Sure, why not?" Mr. B. and I happily replied.                                                                                   "That's a wise decision, but first, I have to call my manager, Bob, and see what kind of discount he will offer you."  Sleazy salesman was excited too.   The regular price on this pool was $21,000 but telling Bob on his phone that we wanted the home demo price and we could attract many people to this location, Bob agreed to sell the pool for $15,900.  Oh yeah, I forgot...that price was just for us.   Well, Mr. B. and I politely refused.  Even with the discounted price it was WAY over our budget.  He kept pushing, suggesting we fill out the financing forms to get the process started and we could make our final decision on Monday.  Again we said no.  Then, this is where the sleazy got really sleazy, "I need to ask you both a personal favor, it's kind of embarrassing though, but it's just something you could do for me that would really help me out."   

"What is it?"  "Oh I know, you need directions to get back home because you'll get lost with all this construction and the detours around here, right?"  I thought for sure that was going to be the question.
"No, I'm wondering if you could loan me $5.00?"  " My car is on empty, and I only have $1.00 in my pocket.  I'll pay you back, I'll send it to you in the mail."  "My office is 35 miles from here, and I'm not going to make it."
"What?!"   "You're kidding, right?"   I couldn't stop laughing.  "Are you serious?"  I shouted.    But his reply was serious, "No, I'm not kidding."     Really, this must be a joke I thought, the guy is on drugs.  This man is my age, and he has no money on him. My voice conveyed my thoughts,  "No way, I can't believe this, why don't you use a credit card?"    "Everyone has a credit card." 
Well, apparently, not this sleazy salesman.  He didn't have any cash, and he did not carry credit cards.  He blamed it all on a nasty divorce a few years back.  Said he didn't put paychecks or anything else in the bank, so the ex can't fight him on it.  At that point, his cell phone rang, and he whispered, "There's more to it, I'll explain after this call."  He was talking to Bob again, he answered Bob's questions about us declining the offer, then hung up the phone and asked again, "So could you help me out, could you lend me $10.00 so I can get back home?"  


I told him flat out, "No, I don't have any money."   "I don't have a job."  I had my arms crossed across my chest, my negative body language was coming through loud and clear.  I was pissed.  I couldn't believe this guy; my kids don't even ask me for money.   In a matter of one minute, he increased his begging amount $5.00.  I wanted to throw him out.  Mr. B. opened his wallet and said, "I don't have $10.00, here's $5.00."  Leave it to Mr. B., he's a good person, or maybe he just wanted to get rid of this guy too.  I had our dinner cooking in the oven, I was beginning to think I might have to feed him, this guy was never going to leave.  Sleazeball finally did leave in his BMW.  I kept shaking my head, I couldn't believe this guy had the nerve to ask beg for money.  Why in the hell would a salesman leave his office 35 miles away with no money in his pocket?  Lola came into the room, and informed us that she just finished wiping the bathroom floor with Clorox wipes because this guy left dribbles by the toilet.  YUCK!  I also discovered, he took my pen.  Not an ordinary ink pen, it was my pen I used in my nursing job that wrote at one end and had a flashlight at the other end, it was used for looking down throats and into eyes.  The jerk took my expensive pen, peed on our bathroom floor, and left with OUR $5.00.  Boy, if that's not sleazy, we've had some jerky salespeople at our house, but he takes the cake!  Or should I say, he takes our pen and $5.00 and leaves piss on the floor!